Day 143: The Day Before

This week was a weird week. I feel like my brain never got a change to catch up with reality. I feel like I had to change every plan, reschedule every meeting, and rethink things that I had already made a decision on. I can’t sleep, my sleep apnea is back with a vengeance, my head is itchy, my house feels small but I really don’t have anywhere I really want to go….dsfalfdlkanf.

Really…this has just been a weird year. I am ready for 2016. I worry that 2016 will be just as weird as 2015…I can’t handle that! Is life just weird sometimes? Does it take THIS long for the weird and new to feel normal? And what if I don’t like this new normal? How can I change the weird feelings to good feelings? Sweet JESUS this must be why they invented Prozac. 2015 was off and usually odd years are my ON years. It has been a year of adjusting and a year of things that made me uncomfortable and sad and anxious and nervous. That is not who I naturally am…the year seemed to be against who I was. That is fitting since in many ways I am not the same person I was a few months ago. I really have changed. Maybe it back to the whole mourning thing…that seems to be cycling in my life every month or so. Things get going on a right path and I seem to be pushed off of that path. Maybe it’s a growth pattern…Growth can be uncomfortable I guess. I am tired of being uncomfortable.I am tired of feeling like I am constantly in mourning. I am ready for the familiar and cozy.

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My food this week was not as bad as I was anticipating. I was off plan Friday and Sunday but that was it…and I was not off plan those whole two days…just for parts of them 🙂 I am really hoping for a release of weight tomorrow. I will be ok with maintaining but like the rest of my life I am restless about this weight. I am ready to give the rest of it away to the universe and MOVE ON!

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2 thoughts on “Day 143: The Day Before

  1. I’m not sure you realize how amazing you are for being so totally honest about your life, feelings, frustrations, happy moments – the whole shebang! It’s a very rare quality and not often seen. I just love the way you lay it all out there. Thank you so much for your inspiration. You’re a treasure!

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    1. Thank you Nancy! Keep it all inside and hidden was part of the reason I found myself overweight and unhappy! So more truth=happier and healthier life!

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