When the day was over I realized the only thing I posted on social media were pictures of the food- well I did post one picture of some beautiful tulips. Before I would have never noticed this but this year I did. Just another reminder that the struggle is still real and I have some issues with food. But instead of dwelling on this discovery I thought of all of the awesome non-food related things that happened on Easter. Continue reading Day 254: Easter Recovery
But at the party last night I enjoyed a regular meal (I did have seconds of the potatoes and jello salad and if you would have tasted them you would know why), I had two glasses of wine, and one small sugar cookie and 3 pieces of chocolate. Pretty normal for any human. While moms food was DELICIOUS, I remember the conversations and playing with the kids and showing off the truck more than the food and THAT is a monumental change that I can be thankful for. My weight might not be releasing at the rate that I want it to and I have to take another pause of my program…but things are different and those differences outweigh any questions that I may have about myself or that others have of me. Continue reading Days 146, 147: Fat, Happy, and HUNGRY!
It was RELAXING. I did 5 minutes of work the whole weekend and stayed off of social media for the most part. I visited with my grandparents and aunt and uncle…I watched the Hawks and Mariners…Grady and my boy cousins helped me figure out my fantasy draft (which is an EPIC team…I have the #1 draft spot)…and I watched the stormy weather roll up and down the canal. It felt really good. It was just what my soul needed. I don’t think it was what my addiction needed or my plan called for but it was what I needed to recharge and move on from this funk I think. I hope. Continue reading Days 99-102: The COUNSEL
The struggle today was no match for my..well..my day. I has SHIT TO DO and was busy doing that. I also finished my book The Martian by Andy Weir and when I am reading I have NO TIME for the struggle. It was a great, on-plan day. No real cravings…no real issues. I think making all those lists helped. It lessened my anxiety about a lot of things and cleared up some pictures that had been covered in dust. Maybe that is something to add to “Thee One Who Struggles Knows This For Sure” list…that lists help lessen the struggle. Continue reading Day 86: More Lists
My sisters asked me if I was excited about hitting my goal and my answer is mixed. The first thought is of joy and happiness. But then I start thinking that I should have set my goal higher…that I should have lost more weight by now…that I have just been getting by with the bare minimum of the plan and not trying my hardest. I NOW recognize this thinking as apart of my addiction. Is there NO END to the depths that this addiction runs? Continue reading Day 55: GOOOOOAAAALLLLL!
“Instead of seeing hunger as a negative thing, see it as a positive thing, Instead of dwelling on hunger, contemplate its opposite: fullness. Purna, or purnata, he explained, is both fullness in eating, and also the idea of perfection, wholeness, the entire universe complete unto itself, you wholly and fully yourself.” Continue reading Thoughts on Finding “Full”
I am changing how I interact with people and food, I am changing my perfection of obesity and this struggle globally, I am learning to focus on me and my needs, I am learning how to “do me” around others, and I am learning how to set boundaries for myself and others along this journey. Continue reading Day 48: On the Road
Celebrations, sun, Standing Head to Knee pose, and Rice Cream Pie. Continue reading Day 30: Father’s Day
McGraw-Hill defines a confused sea as “A highly disturbed water surface without a single, well-defined direction of wave travel.” Craig Smith describes it in his book “Extreme Waves” as a sense that something has changed. “When you are on a … Continue reading DAY FOUR: Confused Seas
Thee Struggle is REAL! 