DAY FIVE: Bored and Exhausted!!!

Welp…the weekend is over…all my friends have left me…Grady is back at work and I have the day off- thanks snow that never came. I have a shit ton of work I could be doing but don’t really feel like it…I could go for a walk but have ZERO energy to do so…and I am super bored with any of my food choices. I started eating some Sugar Snap Peas with my lunch only to taste for the first time why they are called “SUGAR Snap Peas”…they really are sweet! Never tasted their sweetness before! I think that is because my sweet tooth was overloaded with sugar before. 🙂 But then I realized that they were NOT on the approved food list so I put them back in the bag and cut myself some green peppers. I could not even finish my dinner of chicken and green salad tonight because it tasted so blah. I need to mix things up a bit! Tomorrow I am back home and am going to try a different meat every night! I am also going to try some of the recipes from 30/10 in an attempt to get out of this funk!

When I woke up this morning my husband had left me the sweetest note and motivation picture taped right on the fridge. The image says “Weight loss is NOT a physical challenge. It’s a MENTAL one.” Ain’t that the truth! He claims he is not very good with his words but his gesture gave me the motivation to not eat the entire block of cheese in the fridge. He tries so hard to help in any way he can and sometimes gets frustrated with me. But he will try again tomorrow and that is all that matters. He will never stop trying.

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I also had a great conversation with one of my moms closest friends. I told her how I was feeling and that I was hungry all the time. She said that she also lives with this feeling of constant hunger and it is a daily struggle for her. That made me feel better…not because she is struggling too but to know that what I am feeling is felt by others and that this process and battle is fought by many. Like my dads advice, she fights her hunger battles by imagining her hunger as Pac-Man running through her body and veins eating the fat! Now THAT makes sense to me! I tried to think of this image every time my hunger was peaking. I also opened my first letter today. It was a story of gratitude for things that I had done but never realized and a story of shared struggle with some knowledge! I am so thankful for my friends. They really do know me well enough to know what I need at all times. When Grady got home from work we went on a LONG 2.5 mile kayak to the end of the lake and back. Before we left I chugged a fruit drink and we headed out for our hour long kayak. I did not think or notice my hunger that entire time! The water so so calm, the wind had died down, and bald eagles were circling above searching for their dinner in the waters we were traveling on. The sun was setting and our paddles were gliding through the waters. It was a fantastic way to end my day.

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I cant believe I only have two more days until my first weight in. Looking back the week has gone fast but at the same time not. I don’t feel like I have released any weight but then again I could never tell. I don’t know how I could have not released any weight…I have stuck to the plan 100% and feel good about that. I know now that I can do this…I really do just have to eat my salad and be sad for a while 😉

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Soup De Jour:

Breakfast: Cocoa cereal with almond milk.

Snack: Chocolate smoothie with coffee blended with ice!

Lunch: 3oz grilled chicken breast and green pepper.

Snack: Fruit drink

Dinner: 3oz chicken, 1/2 chicken sausage, small salad with tomatoes and feta cheese.

No dessert!

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