Those numbers are devastatingly crushing because I naively thought that surgery would fix it all; that I would magically be trim, fit, healthy, happy, and put together one year out. I have been battling my weight for as long as my memory can reflect on my life. I was hoping bariatric surgery would end that struggle, that constant battle between my soul and food. I can say *definitely* it has not ended anything, which is another sour spot in my soul. But what weighs the heaviest is the realization that the work of living life at a healthy weight has everything to do with what the surgery did NOT fix and everything to do with what I never wanted to confront- myself, my addiction, and my body-mind disconnection. Continue reading Thoughts on a Year
I HAVE learned some things along that way and feel confident that I am not the only one who has come to these conclusions or am the only human on this planet who could benefit from these findings. So THIS 4th of July I hope that you too can start your own journey to food freedom…to body freedom. Or I hope that some of my tools can become your tools to help ease your struggle and keep you going in your journey. Continue reading The 4th: Celebrating Freedom
Podcasts man…where have you been all my life! These things are AMAZING! Now that I am at the lake for the summer and back to a … Continue reading Listen To Learn My Friends!
The LESSON of this story is that when you are in need of something, asking the universe for help finding what you need. EXPRESS what you are feeling, ask for help, and look around for the answers that will be there. Continue reading The Cycle of ‘Meh
Food really can be medicine…it is the fountain of youth if we could only know what is really in our food. Well…we kinda can if we make things homemade with love. Continue reading Day 213: The Sugar Monster
Relapse is the actual usage. But what it takes to get to relapse can be a long and drawn out process. Relapse involves behaviors, thoughts, and feelings. I have certain behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that trigger my need/desire/want to overeat. If I can recognize these behaviors, thoughts, and feelings and acknowledge them for what they are I have a very good change of not relapsing. I can also recognize and focus on behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that will take me further and further away from relapse and into recovery when I am in the relapse spectrum. Continue reading Days 137-141: An Old Plan
These stresses cause me to eat…or at least want to eat for no other reason that I can use food to dull out the stress and pain I am in and not think about it for some time. It really is true….when you are in the addiction action you really don’t think about anything. You are just numb. Your brain stops working…there are no thoughts in your head…you just check out. It is easier to check out than be mad and angry and sad and unhappy. Continue reading Day 122: 100% On-Plan
We JUSTIFY our behavior to no end and we RATIONALIZE our decisions in a way that makes us feel safe. We continue to watch the shows and just imagine what their lives are like without having to really take stock of our own. These shows distract us from dealing with our own shit. Continue reading Addict: Abuser or Devotee?
The hardest road IS the easiest road. It is the SHORTEST distance from we are now to where we want to be. Continue reading The Easy Road