How I Spent My Day Before

I think I also came to a kind of peace with my past and present today. I guess I proved to myself that you can be fat and have a fucking amazing life. It’s not easy, but I don’t think life is easy at any weight. It is ok to be fat-large-husky-round-pudgy-big boned. Other people might not think it is ok but I am telling you…it IS ok. It is also ok to not want to be large anymore and it is ok to do something about it. You are OK at every weight. You might not be *happy* but you are ok. Consistent happiness is not a requirement for life…but being ok is. Continue reading How I Spent My Day Before

The Day Before The Day Before Deja’vu

I could put a positive spin on this. I could say that I have “learned so much about my addiction, my struggle…” I could describe to you all of the research and medical testing I have been through to come to the conclusion that “Well…it could be your weight?”. I could share with you an amazing keto, Whole 30, paleo, recipe for “breadsticks” that you could *literally* dig a grave with because I have burned them so many times in the oven undertakers call me “The Baker”. But I am angry. And pissed. So no spin here…you are in the “No Spin Zone” as the living dead on Fox News would say. I am just really tired. I have never understood the concept of “give it to Jesus” until now. I just can’t do this anymore. I have tried everything three times over. This shit is bigger than me and I am ready for something else to pick up the burden. So…I am giving it all to the surgeon to let him work his sterilized robotic arms on my insides so that I might be forgiven and reborn.  Continue reading The Day Before The Day Before Deja’vu

Sticky post

It’s Going Down For Reals…

I have no real expectations after surgery…I plan on following the doctor’s orders and being the best big patient I can be. I am hopeful for a quick recovery and that I can tolerate all foods and champagne after the procedure but I am not really mourning the loss of any of those things. Don’t get it twisted though…I LOVE me some champaign and that could be the reason that I am fat at the moment. Continue reading It’s Going Down For Reals…