Category: Inspiration

Bariatric Support, Bariatric Surgery, Change, Failure, Fear, Grateful, Inspiration, Motivation, Sleeve, Support, Weight LossLeave a comment
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Thoughts on a Year

awesomeapril

Those numbers are devastatingly crushing because I naively thought that surgery would fix it all; that I would magically be trim, fit, healthy, happy, and put together one year out. I have been battling my weight for as long as my memory can reflect on my life. I was hoping bariatric surgery would end that struggle, that constant battle between my soul and food. I can say *definitely* it has not ended anything, which is another sour spot in my soul. But what weighs the heaviest is the realization that the work of living life at a healthy weight has everything to do with what the surgery did NOT fix and everything to do with what I never wanted to confront- myself, my addiction, and my body-mind disconnection. Continue reading Thoughts on a Year

Bariatric Surgery, Change, Fear, Grateful, Identity, Inspiration, Motivation, Sleeve, Support, Weight Loss2 Comments

Adjusting to Life After Bariatric Surgery

awesomeapril

While things are returning to normal, I am more and more aware that in many ways, there will be no returning to normal. There is the only newness. I cannot return to the old normal because it physically or mentally does not work that way anymore. Sometimes that is hard to grasp or accept because you just want to be and feel normal again. Continue reading Adjusting to Life After Bariatric Surgery

Bariatric Surgery, Change, Enough, Inspiration, Motivation, Sleeve, Weight LossLeave a comment

The Day Before The Day Before Deja’vu

awesomeapril

I could put a positive spin on this. I could say that I have “learned so much about my addiction, my struggle…” I could describe to you all of the research and medical testing I have been through to come to the conclusion that “Well…it could be your weight?”. I could share with you an amazing keto, Whole 30, paleo, recipe for “breadsticks” that you could *literally* dig a grave with because I have burned them so many times in the oven undertakers call me “The Baker”. But I am angry. And pissed. So no spin here…you are in the “No Spin Zone” as the living dead on Fox News would say. I am just really tired. I have never understood the concept of “give it to Jesus” until now. I just can’t do this anymore. I have tried everything three times over. This shit is bigger than me and I am ready for something else to pick up the burden. So…I am giving it all to the surgeon to let him work his sterilized robotic arms on my insides so that I might be forgiven and reborn.  Continue reading The Day Before The Day Before Deja’vu

Bariatric Surgery, Failure, Fear, Grateful, Inspiration, Motivation, Sleeve, Support, Weight Loss4 Comments

It’s Going Down For Reals…

awesomeapril

I have no real expectations after surgery…I plan on following the doctor’s orders and being the best big patient I can be. I am hopeful for a quick recovery and that I can tolerate all foods and champagne after the procedure but I am not really mourning the loss of any of those things. Don’t get it twisted though…I LOVE me some champaign and that could be the reason that I am fat at the moment. Continue reading It’s Going Down For Reals…

Bariatric Surgery, Habits, Identity, Inspiration, Motivation, Weight LossLeave a comment

Identity} Process} Outcome

awesomeapril

So this time, I am starting with my identity- what I believe about myself and what I value in my life, then creating processes that support and align to that identity. I am learning the power of my votes and that I have hundreds of votes to cast each day. Not every vote has to be for healthy. Some votes can still be cast for the pizza because it’s been a day and that is ok. The outcome will reflect my votes, my identity so I don’t have to even think on that if my processes are aligned to my identity. Continue reading Identity} Process} Outcome

30/10 Weight Loss for Life, Failure, Fear, Inspiration, Motivation, Weight Loss4 Comments

Days 137-141: An Old Plan

awesomeapril

Relapse is the actual usage. But what it takes to get to relapse can be a long and drawn out process. Relapse involves behaviors, thoughts, and feelings. I have certain behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that trigger my need/desire/want to overeat. If I can recognize these behaviors, thoughts, and feelings and acknowledge them for what they are I have a very good change of not relapsing. I can also recognize and focus on behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that will take me further and further away from relapse and into recovery when I am in the relapse spectrum. Continue reading Days 137-141: An Old Plan