Today is the beginning of week 13 for me. Really hard to believe I have been doing 30/10 for 13 weeks. When I first started I thought there was no way in HELL I was going to make it past week 3. But here I am…down 35.5 pounds! Despite ALL of the indulgences and just flat out poor decisions and lack of willpower I managed to release 0.7 pounds. Nothing compared to what that should have been…but monumental in terms of overall growth.

Despite the off plan foods and the drinky-poos from the weekend before and the lack of sleep and general poor attitude towards life Tuesday through today I managed to still get rid of some poundage. It was a HORRIBLE food week…I mean REALLY bad. But my 30/10 coach helped me understand today and how I was down…even with the bad food I am still eating less. I am making better decisions when I am not eating the bad food and I am thinking about why I am doing it and really making some better choices. All victories in the larger struggle. I told him how DONE I am and he said that I was “right in track!” Ummm…what? He said that most people only do the program for 10 weeks (30/10= 30 pounds in 10 weeks). Most people do not get to the “burn out” phase. But the people who are like me get there…right around week 12. He understands why; the program is HARD, it is restrictive in a way that you would never be restrictive in “real life”, you really cant have certain foods while doing the program. People just get burnt out…it’s natural. He challenged me to stay focused on my purpose for doing this…for releasing the weight. I have to force myself to keep that at the forefront of my mind and find a way to constantly remind myself of the reason. He also wants to to focus on the next 3 weeks…in three weeks I will have completed “Phase 1” and met my first goal- getting through Phase 1! He also suggested that at the end of this first 15 weeks I take a break and we only focus on maintaining my new weight. No more eating their foods but still checking in every week and working with him to learn how to keep my weight with ALL my own foods. This means I would be able to bring back fruit and cheese once again into my life!!! MILK! Oh man that is going to taste AWESOME! It does make me nervous though…if I go back to eating regular foods is it going to be even HARDER to get going in my second 15 weeks? Should I just power through and move straight into the next phase without stopping at the fruit stand for a week or two? I am really torn about it all…I have 3 weeks to make a decision. The benefit to taking a break is that I will finally begin to learn about maintenance and that has been a BIG concern of mine. So learning how this will all work when I am really totally and completely done would put my mind at ease. Decisions…decisions…

I have NOT been sleeping and that is contributing to my funky mood. I shared this with David and he asked me if there was anything unresolved in my life. DUH! That is a 10-4 David. All teachers get nervous when August is coming to a close. We start thinking about the kids coming our way, (will they be sweet kids like the ones you see in magazines or the ones you see on Cops?) and our lessons (will they be interesting and engaging or BOMB like a North Korean rocket <BURN K.J.I !>?) and the management of our classes (who is going to challenge my authority on day one? What am I going to do when it happens? Will there be people recording it? Not if I act quickly like lightning…). Then there are the unknowns of scheduling, technology issues, new staff members to mesh with. Next year my school is making some MAJOR changes; we are blending with another school, moving LMS platforms, adopting new curriculum, and I have to teach back in a classroom one day a week…which is a HUGE deal because I have been out of it for 3 years…now I have to be worried about all that regular teachers shit on top of my regular teacher shit. Its just too much. September means I will move back to FedWay and Grady will stay here. Not cool. He is thinking about starting his own business and working with his dad full time to learn the trade but that means we are apart during the week…every week…until next summer. I like my personal time but I also like sleeping at night knowing that if someone breaks in I will NOT be the first one murdered. I am a person who loves decisions and plans. Decisions are based on your passions. If you are passionate about something you decide to do that. Then you go do it to the best of your ability. Easy. Grady is having a hard time making this decision and it is KILLING ME. LITERALLY. I am not sleeping people. Today I missed 3 FREAKING turns off the freeway because my brain was trying to sleep while driving. I need some decisions…and soon. So David recommended that I make a list of shit that is bugging me and deal with it. Sounds like a novel idea…why did I not think of that?

So moving forward this week I am taking all of the above advice.

1. I am having an on plan week. I am tracking my food and taking all my vitamins.
2. I am getting in exercise every day.
3. I am focusing on these last 3 weeks only.
4. I am going to set a goal for each of the 3 upcoming weeks.
5. My goal for next Thursday is to release 3 pounds.
6. I am making a list of all the shit that is bugging me and I am going to do something about it.
   1. My pictures are a DISASTER. I am putting them all into one place and ORGANIZING them!
   2. There are light bulbs out everywhere in this house. They will be changed.
   3. My car is a PIT. Time to clean.
   4. Bathrooms in this place need a deep clean. Time to clean some more.
   5. I now have my classes for next year. I need to get them ready for those monsters arriving September 3rd.
   6. I need to organize my school supplies and my school bag. You KNOW you are jealous of this one…
   7. I need new school clothes. Mom will be home the 23rd…make date with mom for her to take me school clothes shopping on the 24th.
   8. Grady needs to make a decision about the business. I will have a chat with Grady.

So there is my list of shit that is bugging me. Hopefully by next week all that shit will be taken care of and I can add new shit to that list. The closer we get to school starting the longer the shit list gets. Thems are just the rules kids. I am headed out side to see if I can see some comets shooting through the sky. That sounds like a nice way to end my day. Thank you to everyone for your support this week. I really needed it and you came through like you always have.