Tag: motivation

Bariatric Support, Bariatric Surgery, Change, Failure, Fear, Grateful, Inspiration, Motivation, Sleeve, Support, Weight LossLeave a comment
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Thoughts on a Year

awesomeapril

Those numbers are devastatingly crushing because I naively thought that surgery would fix it all; that I would magically be trim, fit, healthy, happy, and put together one year out. I have been battling my weight for as long as my memory can reflect on my life. I was hoping bariatric surgery would end that struggle, that constant battle between my soul and food. I can say *definitely* it has not ended anything, which is another sour spot in my soul. But what weighs the heaviest is the realization that the work of living life at a healthy weight has everything to do with what the surgery did NOT fix and everything to do with what I never wanted to confront- myself, my addiction, and my body-mind disconnection. Continue reading Thoughts on a Year

Bariatric Surgery, Change, Fear, Grateful, Identity, Inspiration, Motivation, Sleeve, Support, Weight Loss2 Comments

Adjusting to Life After Bariatric Surgery

awesomeapril

While things are returning to normal, I am more and more aware that in many ways, there will be no returning to normal. There is the only newness. I cannot return to the old normal because it physically or mentally does not work that way anymore. Sometimes that is hard to grasp or accept because you just want to be and feel normal again. Continue reading Adjusting to Life After Bariatric Surgery

30/10 Weight Loss for Life, Grateful, Weight Loss2 Comments

Day 186: Well…down is down

awesomeapril

I feel like I have come full circle with 30/10. I have done it all…made the scary decision to do it, fought off the demons and hunger pains of the beginning, admitted that I use food to get through life, found a counselor who could help me through the addiction side of my food issues, experienced the highs of releasing weight, gotten pissed and “paused”, but the most important part- maintain my new lower weight. That is how I KNOW this was the program for me…I have maintained. I will never go back. I know TOO MUCH now about myself and my addiction to let it control my life again. Continue reading Day 186: Well…down is down

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Day 185: Validated

awesomeapril

I saw David today and had a LONG conversation/discussion about my question from yesterday, “Why am I delaying the inevitable?” I left my session feeling extremely validated. I told him I felt like I was doing the work on my own that we do together; I was taking time to think about the bigger questions and answering them honestly, not stopping until my gut feeling was peaceful with my responses. It was nice to talk about my process and not totally focus on the issue. It was even nicer to know that my process is valid and truthful and helpful. Continue reading Day 185: Validated

30/10 Weight Loss for Life, Failure, Fear, Motivation, Weight Loss4 Comments

Day 180: Painful

awesomeapril

“The choices you have made with addiction were once intelligent, adaptive life skills intending to support your very survival. Everyone’s “life skills” set is generated out of his or her earliest life experiences and experiments. Our early attempts to understand, soothe, enjoy, connect, belong, or express ourselves, to name a few of our fundamental human needs, were all mini-research experiments for life…your early research discovered that food…worked to soothe, numb, or distract you, or to create a sense of agency of control. Food became a medium through which you met your needs. Sadly they became painfully overused, maladaptive, and ineffective. This leads you to your current circumstances: with a skill set that lacks a diverse set of tools for responding to life.” Sarahjoy Marsh Continue reading Day 180: Painful

30/10 Weight Loss for Life, Failure, Fear, Inspiration, Motivation, Weight Loss4 Comments

Days 137-141: An Old Plan

awesomeapril

Relapse is the actual usage. But what it takes to get to relapse can be a long and drawn out process. Relapse involves behaviors, thoughts, and feelings. I have certain behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that trigger my need/desire/want to overeat. If I can recognize these behaviors, thoughts, and feelings and acknowledge them for what they are I have a very good change of not relapsing. I can also recognize and focus on behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that will take me further and further away from relapse and into recovery when I am in the relapse spectrum. Continue reading Days 137-141: An Old Plan

30/10 Weight Loss for Life, Motivation, Weight Loss2 Comments

Day 125: KILLER Results!

awesomeapril

This really is the most weight I have ever released. In the past 10 years I have only seen my weight creep up and up and up. Grady has never known me at this weight and that seems kinda weird. I don’t think he thinks its weird but I think it would be different to see someone actually change their look and shape in front of your eyes. I get that kids grow up but we are used to seeing and witnessing that. It is not very often that adults shape shift! Continue reading Day 125: KILLER Results!

30/10 Weight Loss for Life, Motivation, Weight Loss4 Comments

Day 122: 100% On-Plan

awesomeapril

These stresses cause me to eat…or at least want to eat for no other reason that I can use food to dull out the stress and pain I am in and not think about it for some time. It really is true….when you are in the addiction action you really don’t think about anything. You are just numb. Your brain stops working…there are no thoughts in your head…you just check out. It is easier to check out than be mad and angry and sad and unhappy. Continue reading Day 122: 100% On-Plan

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Day 111: The 15th Day Before

awesomeapril

My thoughts about tomorrow have not changed…I am counting a victory if my fat is down and my weight is whatever it is going to be. I have to only be concerned with the fat and not the scale number. It is hard to do when society is focused on your weight and not really your health. But society be damned…I want to be healthy and fat free and that is all that matters. Continue reading Day 111: The 15th Day Before