New Weight= New Identity

The identity I have now is one of a fat person…one of a larger person and I still value things that a larger person does. I am still living my life as a larger person and my actions and behaviors reflect values of a fat person. But I don’t want to be a fat person anymore. After my surgery I really can’t live a life where I identify as a fat person. I just wont physically be able to. I don’t want to be a big person anymore. I want to be a healthy person who weights an amount that will not lead to my untimely death or prolonged misery. To live life at a healthy weight, I need a new identity. I need to identify as a healthy person and live my life as a healthy person does. I need to identify as a healthy person.  Continue reading New Weight= New Identity

Advertisements

New Tool For My Toolbox

Food is a big part of who I am. This procedure will not change that. I am hopeful that this tool will help food become a normal part of who I am, not the biggest and most visible part as it is now. I am looking forward to the day when a stranger will pass me walking, notice a scowl on my face, and begin to wonder what deep dark secret is making my life so miserable. Because now everyone knows its food…and I am over that. I am ready to be a brooding mystery that everyone is trying to figure out.  Continue reading New Tool For My Toolbox

The 4th: Celebrating Freedom

I HAVE learned some things along that way and feel confident that I am not the only one who has come to these conclusions or am the only human on this planet who could benefit from these findings. So THIS 4th of July I hope that you too can start your own journey to food freedom…to body freedom. Or I hope that some of my tools can become your tools to help ease your struggle and keep you going in your journey. Continue reading The 4th: Celebrating Freedom

Day… Who The Hell Knows…

I HAVE to get to the bottom of this slump in my LIFE! WHY the hell was I SO on-point a few months ago and now I can’t tear myself away from the SVU marathon on USA? I NEED to get to the bottom of this so I can DELAY doing the real work of battling my addiction…of going back to thinking deeply about why I can’t just eat the freaking 30/10 food and be DONE with it all…not talking myself down from a ledge every freaking time I am Starbucks…from reminding myself 5000 times a day that “It’s just food!” I see you addiction…sneaky bastard. IT NEVER GOES AWAY. Continue reading Day… Who The Hell Knows…

Day 254: Easter Recovery

When the day was over I realized the only thing I posted on social media were pictures of the food- well I did post one picture of some beautiful tulips. Before I would have never noticed this but this year I did. Just another reminder that the struggle is still real and I have some issues with food. But instead of dwelling on this discovery I thought of all of the awesome non-food related things that happened on Easter. Continue reading Day 254: Easter Recovery