The identity I have now is one of a fat person…one of a larger person and I still value things that a larger person does. I am still living my life as a larger person and my actions and behaviors reflect values of a fat person. But I don’t want to be a fat person anymore. After my surgery I really can’t live a life where I identify as a fat person. I just wont physically be able to. I don’t want to be a big person anymore. I want to be a healthy person who weights an amount that will not lead to my untimely death or prolonged misery. To live life at a healthy weight, I need a new identity. I need to identify as a healthy person and live my life as a healthy person does. I need to identify as a healthy person. Continue reading New Weight= New Identity
Food is a big part of who I am. This procedure will not change that. I am hopeful that this tool will help food become a normal part of who I am, not the biggest and most visible part as it is now. I am looking forward to the day when a stranger will pass me walking, notice a scowl on my face, and begin to wonder what deep dark secret is making my life so miserable. Because now everyone knows its food…and I am over that. I am ready to be a brooding mystery that everyone is trying to figure out. Continue reading New Tool For My Toolbox
It has been SOME TIME- I think a year…maybe more since I last wrote about my weight journey. I am almost to afraid to look at … Continue reading Seeking: Executive with Excellent Planning Skills
I HAVE learned some things along that way and feel confident that I am not the only one who has come to these conclusions or am the only human on this planet who could benefit from these findings. So THIS 4th of July I hope that you too can start your own journey to food freedom…to body freedom. Or I hope that some of my tools can become your tools to help ease your struggle and keep you going in your journey. Continue reading The 4th: Celebrating Freedom
Podcasts man…where have you been all my life! These things are AMAZING! Now that I am at the lake for the summer and back to a … Continue reading Listen To Learn My Friends!
The LESSON of this story is that when you are in need of something, asking the universe for help finding what you need. EXPRESS what you are feeling, ask for help, and look around for the answers that will be there. Continue reading The Cycle of ‘Meh
I HAVE to get to the bottom of this slump in my LIFE! WHY the hell was I SO on-point a few months ago and now I can’t tear myself away from the SVU marathon on USA? I NEED to get to the bottom of this so I can DELAY doing the real work of battling my addiction…of going back to thinking deeply about why I can’t just eat the freaking 30/10 food and be DONE with it all…not talking myself down from a ledge every freaking time I am Starbucks…from reminding myself 5000 times a day that “It’s just food!” I see you addiction…sneaky bastard. IT NEVER GOES AWAY. Continue reading Day… Who The Hell Knows…
I have been getting a lot of requests to start a Facebook support group. I have been hesitant because I know how much work a group … Continue reading Support is HERE!
I am coming up on my 1 year 30/10 sign up date. And it has been a YEAR. Releasing my weight has been the biggest struggle I have ever faced or perhaps ever face. Basically, it has been WAY harder than I thought it would be. Continue reading The Proof Is in the Jersey Size…
When the day was over I realized the only thing I posted on social media were pictures of the food- well I did post one picture of some beautiful tulips. Before I would have never noticed this but this year I did. Just another reminder that the struggle is still real and I have some issues with food. But instead of dwelling on this discovery I thought of all of the awesome non-food related things that happened on Easter. Continue reading Day 254: Easter Recovery