Day… Who The Hell Knows…

I HAVE to get to the bottom of this slump in my LIFE! WHY the hell was I SO on-point a few months ago and now I can’t tear myself away from the SVU marathon on USA? I NEED to get to the bottom of this so I can DELAY doing the real work of battling my addiction…of going back to thinking deeply about why I can’t just eat the freaking 30/10 food and be DONE with it all…not talking myself down from a ledge every freaking time I am Starbucks…from reminding myself 5000 times a day that “It’s just food!” I see you addiction…sneaky bastard. IT NEVER GOES AWAY. Continue reading Day… Who The Hell Knows…

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Day 254: Easter Recovery

When the day was over I realized the only thing I posted on social media were pictures of the food- well I did post one picture of some beautiful tulips. Before I would have never noticed this but this year I did. Just another reminder that the struggle is still real and I have some issues with food. But instead of dwelling on this discovery I thought of all of the awesome non-food related things that happened on Easter. Continue reading Day 254: Easter Recovery

Day 240: #transparenttuesday

When I look back on that list a few trends appear: I did a lot of socializing, my brain worked a ton, I had some laughs, did a lot of celebrating, and ate a lot of food. And party food- not regular food. My last 27 days have been GOOD days- they have been busy and filled with joy. What has not been good is my eating during those days. I am having a hard time getting my good days to also be good food days. I am having a very hard time saying no. Whats new…#transparenttuesday. Continue reading Day 240: #transparenttuesday

Day 186: Well…down is down

I feel like I have come full circle with 30/10. I have done it all…made the scary decision to do it, fought off the demons and hunger pains of the beginning, admitted that I use food to get through life, found a counselor who could help me through the addiction side of my food issues, experienced the highs of releasing weight, gotten pissed and “paused”, but the most important part- maintain my new lower weight. That is how I KNOW this was the program for me…I have maintained. I will never go back. I know TOO MUCH now about myself and my addiction to let it control my life again. Continue reading Day 186: Well…down is down