The LESSON of this story is that when you are in need of something, asking the universe for help finding what you need. EXPRESS what you are feeling, ask for help, and look around for the answers that will be there. Continue reading The Cycle of ‘Meh
I have been getting a lot of requests to start a Facebook support group. I have been hesitant because I know how much work a group … Continue reading Support is HERE!
I am coming up on my 1 year 30/10 sign up date. And it has been a YEAR. Releasing my weight has been the biggest struggle I have ever faced or perhaps ever face. Basically, it has been WAY harder than I thought it would be. Continue reading The Proof Is in the Jersey Size…
When I look back on that list a few trends appear: I did a lot of socializing, my brain worked a ton, I had some laughs, did a lot of celebrating, and ate a lot of food. And party food- not regular food. My last 27 days have been GOOD days- they have been busy and filled with joy. What has not been good is my eating during those days. I am having a hard time getting my good days to also be good food days. I am having a very hard time saying no. Whats new…#transparenttuesday. Continue reading Day 240: #transparenttuesday
I saw David today and had a LONG conversation/discussion about my question from yesterday, “Why am I delaying the inevitable?” I left my session feeling extremely validated. I told him I felt like I was doing the work on my own that we do together; I was taking time to think about the bigger questions and answering them honestly, not stopping until my gut feeling was peaceful with my responses. It was nice to talk about my process and not totally focus on the issue. It was even nicer to know that my process is valid and truthful and helpful. Continue reading Day 185: Validated
“The choices you have made with addiction were once intelligent, adaptive life skills intending to support your very survival. Everyone’s “life skills” set is generated out of his or her earliest life experiences and experiments. Our early attempts to understand, soothe, enjoy, connect, belong, or express ourselves, to name a few of our fundamental human needs, were all mini-research experiments for life…your early research discovered that food…worked to soothe, numb, or distract you, or to create a sense of agency of control. Food became a medium through which you met your needs. Sadly they became painfully overused, maladaptive, and ineffective. This leads you to your current circumstances: with a skill set that lacks a diverse set of tools for responding to life.” Sarahjoy Marsh Continue reading Day 180: Painful
So the continued lesson of this adventure: sometimes food is an OK tool to use to feel normal. When its checked and public and reasonable it’s ok. Sometimes it is needed to help the healing and anger and the hurt and the confusion and the return to normalcy. Continue reading Days 144, 145:Coming to Grips
Relapse is the actual usage. But what it takes to get to relapse can be a long and drawn out process. Relapse involves behaviors, thoughts, and feelings. I have certain behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that trigger my need/desire/want to overeat. If I can recognize these behaviors, thoughts, and feelings and acknowledge them for what they are I have a very good change of not relapsing. I can also recognize and focus on behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that will take me further and further away from relapse and into recovery when I am in the relapse spectrum. Continue reading Days 137-141: An Old Plan
This really is the most weight I have ever released. In the past 10 years I have only seen my weight creep up and up and up. Grady has never known me at this weight and that seems kinda weird. I don’t think he thinks its weird but I think it would be different to see someone actually change their look and shape in front of your eyes. I get that kids grow up but we are used to seeing and witnessing that. It is not very often that adults shape shift! Continue reading Day 125: KILLER Results!
These stresses cause me to eat…or at least want to eat for no other reason that I can use food to dull out the stress and pain I am in and not think about it for some time. It really is true….when you are in the addiction action you really don’t think about anything. You are just numb. Your brain stops working…there are no thoughts in your head…you just check out. It is easier to check out than be mad and angry and sad and unhappy. Continue reading Day 122: 100% On-Plan
Thee Struggle is REAL! 