Tag: Failure

30/10 Weight Loss for Life, Failure, Weight Loss2 Comments

Days 115-122; ROUGH Week

awesomeapril

Most of the things I did last week did not get me to where I wanted to be the next day. My 30/10 check in on Thursday was good but it wasn’t. I was up 1.1 pounds. I had lost 1.1 pounds of fat and I was up in muscle but seeing that you are 1.1 pounds heavier is just so hard to take. It is so hard to break away from your weight number and focus on your fat numbers. Positive results are seeing the fat pounds go down and down and down and that is what is happening. Why can’t I be happy with that? Continue reading Days 115-122; ROUGH Week

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Days 97-98 Gutter Balls

awesomeapril

My body is revolting and hanging on to every ounce of water apparently…my brain hurts from thinking about work…my eyes are sore…my muscles are sore…I think ever body system is pissed off and wants OUT. I need some sleep and I need some clarity. I don’t even know if that will help. I don’t know what I need because I know that whatever I turn to is not going to make any of this go away. I know I just have to walk through it and deal with it as it comes. Continue reading Days 97-98 Gutter Balls

30/10 Weight Loss for Life, Failure, Weight Loss4 Comments

Days 92-96: Ups and Downs

awesomeapril

I am the one throwing this off. And that makes it all the worst feeling ever. Why am I doing this? Why can’t I just pull my shit together and do this? Every fucking time I feel like I have moved forward or on from where I was I get bitch slapped back into my place. I think this is the point in the relationship that I walk out. OHHHHHHHH but here’s the thing. If I leave this relationship (struggle) now I will end up in worse place then where I started. So I continue to stay in this abusive relationship, getting slapped a few times a week? I guess so…that is my only option at the moment. Continue reading Days 92-96: Ups and Downs

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Days 80, 81: SO OVER THIS!

awesomeapril

I ordered a new Seahawks sip up sweatshirt jacket thing in an XXL and it does NOT fit. I can zip it up but its one of those items you would NEVER wear in public. Do I keep in of hopes of fitting into by the time the Hawks play in the Suerbowl? Do I send it back with an angry note about making clothes that FUCKING FIT people and not only the Seagals? FML dude…FML! Continue reading Days 80, 81: SO OVER THIS!

30/10 Weight Loss for Life, Motivation, Weight Loss2 Comments

Days 62-Oh who the hell knows…

awesomeapril

I went to Alaska for all that and was able to experience ALL of it. Sure my struggle was there with me the whole time. But my brain but that on the back burner because it knows that even struggles take vacations…we all need vacation to remind us of the good life. To remind us why we work so hard and struggle so much…to live the good life and live it WELL. Continue reading Days 62-Oh who the hell knows…

30/10 Weight Loss for Life, Weight Loss2 Comments

Day 59: Back to the Future!

awesomeapril

Being off of your routine makes it difficult to stay on plan. When I was in Silverwood we stayed to a routine…we have a little guy with us and we were more regular. Being in and out of port your routine gets thrown off a bit when new adventures pop up without warning. Do you adventure and throw off your hunger or stick to a stick to an eating schedule? It seems like on this vacation you take the adventure and I would not have it any other way. Continue reading Day 59: Back to the Future!

30/10 Weight Loss for Life, Motivation, Weight Loss10 Comments

Day 49-53: Hungry Again…

awesomeapril

How fortunate that we live in a place where we can do that…seek simplicity and find joy in music…friends…and some beer. It was another great moment of normalcy for me. That felt like my old life but it was not my old life. My old life would have been a not so healthy meal and way more drinks than 4. I would have still noticed the trees and the setting sun but those things we a bit sweeter because I was appreciating everything as a big package. I was full…I was satisfied. There was nothing in that moment of time that I wanted and food was nowhere in my brains orbit of thought. What a cool feeling. I would like to feel that way often if not all the time. Continue reading Day 49-53: Hungry Again…

30/10 Weight Loss for Life, Failure, Fear, Weight Loss4 Comments

Days 37-46: Circle the Wagons!

awesomeapril

I was able to eat or drink something that I was really wanting without going overboard. I never wanted more of anything because for the first time in a long time I was satisfied with my choice- it had either done the trick and filled some empty food void or had proven a point to myself…that some of the things I used to enjoy are just no longer enjoyable. How else do you know how far you have come without testing those limits? Continue reading Days 37-46: Circle the Wagons!

30/10 Weight Loss for Life, Failure, Weight Loss2 Comments

Day 34: Mixed Results

awesomeapril

It is hard to hear that this was the best week with such a small loss. I feel very conditioned to only think and concern myself with my weight number. Even though 30/10 really only focuses on your visceral fat loss and your total body fat composition, the weight number is the easiest to understand. I cant see my actual fat but I can see what I look like. The less I weight the better I will look…right? Continue reading Day 34: Mixed Results

30/10 Weight Loss for Life, Fear, Weight Loss2 Comments

Day 32: Restless

awesomeapril

I still do not know how I will maintain my future weight and that is making me nervous and anxious. I am also not a wheel-spinner and I feel a bit like I am spinning my wheels. I know there are some BIG changes coming in my personal life but these changes are still on the horizon. I just want the weight to be gone so I can get on with things. My therapist would-I am sure- suggest that this is tactic that my addiction is using to try to get me off program or off plan. I will see him Thursday and see if I am correct in my assumption. Regardless…that is how I am feeling today. That is what I am thinking at this very moment. Who would have thunk that there was so much involved with being fat/overweight/obese! Continue reading Day 32: Restless