All of the skills and techniques and understanding that has occurred over these past few weeks is not lost on me…but in the moment of dispare and anger and feelings of deprivation those things escape your brain. Its like you have dementia…you forget it all and ALL you can think about and focus on is the negative things. Continue reading Days 21-27: Struggles
This was the question I found myself asking these past few days. Why ME? WHY do I have to do such a restrictive program to release my weight? WHY do I feel like I am the only one struggling with … Continue reading Days 19 & 20: Why ME?
Lost: unable to find one’s way; not knowing one’s whereabouts.
Found: having been discovered by chance or unexpectedly, in particular.
Continue reading Days 15-19: Lost and Found
f I can understand my beliefs I can control my emotions and my emotions responses. And the more even keel I can become the less I will feel the need and urge to take control of uncontrollable situations through eating. Well…this is the theory at least! Continue reading DAY 14: SUCCESS!
Weight is such a tricky thing…it is deceiving in so many ways…not only does it deceive us but we deceive it. Continue reading DAY 13: The Day Before ROUND 3!
Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment. Continue reading DAY 12: MEH
We JUSTIFY our behavior to no end and we RATIONALIZE our decisions in a way that makes us feel safe. We continue to watch the shows and just imagine what their lives are like without having to really take stock of our own. These shows distract us from dealing with our own shit. Continue reading Addict: Abuser or Devotee?
These last few days have been like waves…they roll in and roll out. One minute I am feeling great and going strong then the next I am feeling terrible and feeling weak. It is somewhat unpredictable but somewhat predictable…everything feels … Continue reading DAYS 9,10 &11: Waves
Today I was so busy I did not do a lot of thinking about food! Ahhhhh….that felt nice! I am still hungry a lot and I still get starvation pains but those only come when I really have not eaten … Continue reading DAY 8: Not so much about food!
I am understanding that my addiction is not a source of shame. It is apart of me now and has been for a LONG time and there is no changing that. How I interact with the addiction will change. But to do so I also have to make it human…I have to make it a tangible part of me. I have to acknowledge it, talk to it, interact with it, keep it public and open. Continue reading DAY 7: RESULTS! (This is a pretty epic post…you for SURE want to read it)
Thee Struggle is REAL! 